And for the most part, the direction your life has taken since then has reflected a general sense of upwardly mobile sophistication (swanky nightclubs, exclusive parties, Food Network).
Yet the temptation to slip back into your sillier days of yore is great around this time of year (round-the-clock grilled bratwurst will do that).
So you’ll want to feast your eyes on the Beer Bandolier, the chest-worn beer carrier that keeps six cold brews on you at all times, making it easier for you to saunter around your next BBQ bandito-style, now available online.
Think of it as Mexican desperado gear by way of Animal House, and the sort of accessory you only sport when you have a beery agenda on the horizon (for example, tailgating at Gillette this fall, or celebrating our nation’s birthday this entire weekend).
It’s ingeniously simple—just nylon webbing with collapsible beer koozies sewn together—which makes sense considering any time you need to keep six cold beers on your being all at once, you don’t want a lot of fuss (especially before breakfast).
Plus, it comes in plenty of colors, and it’s easy to slip on and off.
Next up: tequila boot-holsters.