Gear

Street Writer

If Chuck Norris Were a Pen

UD - Tao PenIn spite of the fact that your daily life is all parties, models, merriment and mirth, the truth remains: we live in a dangerous world.

And one of these days, your bodyguards may have the day off. You need some backup.

Introducing the Tao Pen, a tactical writing instrument that doubles as a self-defense weapon in the right hands (read: yours), now available for preorder.

If all the epic manliness of Chuck Norris were mixed with the penchant for writing (and ass-kicking) of Bruce Lee, you would get this bad mother of a writing utensil.

You'll be happy to know it was conceived by an ex-Recon Marine (who moonlights as a knife designer) and is made of precision-cut, hard-anodized aluminum (which is a fancy way of saying it's super-strong and lightweight).

So the next time you're in a dark alley and a few neighborhood punks step to you, you'll want to first debate them on the merits of nonviolence. If that goes nowhere, you'll say, "Excuse me, I just want to write down your phone numbers" and pull out this. Then proceed to jab one with the hard, flat butt of the pen, whap another across the chin and take out the final would-be assailant with a little wrist-joint-manipulation à la Steven Seagal...

You'll also like it for jotting down little messages on Post-it notes.

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