And as you probably know, he is real. Kind of. He goes by the name SoupMan, and works in Manhattan. And he's just as feisty as you'd imagine.
So brace yourself: he'd like to come over and make you some soup.
Introducing The Original SoupMan Soups, a new line of frozen soups from the world's most dictatorial soup guy, available now.
Now, you'll be happy to know that the Original SoupMan's rules, as interpreted on Seinfeld—order quickly, move along, no kissing in line, multi-year bans for breaking the rules—don't apply here (we don't think). That said, you will have to submit an email—which, we presume, will be investigated for typos, grammar and other unbearable tiny mistakes—at least until the full online store is operational (soon, we hear).
Your options include the standards: chicken vegetable, seafood bisque and tomato basil. (Sorry, Costanza—we wouldn't assume the bread is included.) They'll arrive frozen; you'll heat them up, and then you'll have to create your own rules for dealing with the line that will no doubt form around your block.
Time to start practicing your "No soup for you."