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Get the Door. It's Gene Simmons.

For 50 Grand, the Kiss Frontman Will Personally Deliver a Giant New Box Set to Your House

By Sam Eichner ·
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Photo: Paul Natkin/Getty Images

In what might be the most outrageous record release strategy to date, Kiss frontman Gene Simmons will hand-deliver a giant box set to your house, hang out with you and your friends for a few hours and perhaps even play a lick or two on your acoustic guitar. All you need, of course, is $50,000, an inordinate amount of love for the "God of Thunder" and some snacks, unless you want Simmons to get hungry during his visit. (You don't want Simmons to get hungry during his visit.)

The box set is described as a "soundtrack" to Gene's life, featuring track-by-track commentary on 150 unreleased Simmons songs from the past 50 years. It will also come with a new Gene action figure, a deluxe book featuring 50,000 words (on what, exactly, it's not clear) and 160 never-before-seen photos, as well as a hand-selected piece of memorabilia from his personal collection and a commemorative coin, the appeal of which will forever remain a mystery to me.

Of course, should you decide you don't really need Gene to hand-deliver this to you, you can also sign up for the Producer Experience, and spend an hour with Gene in the studio, or the Vault Experience, wherein you can meet Gene "in your area," as long as he's around. 

You may also decide you don't really need this in your life at all. That's okay, too. 

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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