Unless you’re esteemed burger-blogger Mathew Ramsey.
In which case... good effort. Time well spent.
Everyone else, lean on the expertise of his soon-to-be-released PornBurger: a book full of drool-inducing photos, recipes and techniques for creating an extensive burger catalog. It’s available for preorder now.
These burgers: they’re excessive. They’re indulgent. They possess extremely irreverent and occasionally questionable names.
Take, for example, the Birthday Sex (beef patties, bacon, truffle whipped goat cheese, foie gras mousse, cherry-and-caramelized-onion cake). Take, for another example, the Mac Daddy (fried mac-and-cheese bun, jerk-rubbed bacon, lobster).
Take, for even more examples, a look at this slideshow.
Hope you’ve already eaten.