You still can’t do that.
But you can teleport your head to the movies. And that’s, like... 1/7 of the battle.
Shhh. We’ll explain.
You now live in a world with the Dashbon Mask, a pair of headphones that’re also a movie theater that you put on your face, available for preorder now and expected to ship in October.
Here’s how it happens:
There you are, just bopping down the street, listening to music on your massive, shiny white headphones. Just a normal day. Everything’s normal. You’ll take a seat on a bench and have a thought like “Now might be a good time to stream the 1987 blockbuster smash Ishtar.”
You’ll rotate the top band into your line of vision. Suddenly, they’re not so normal. Because suddenly, you’re watching a movie on an optical system that simulates a high-def TV that’s eight feet away even though it’s streaming through your phone two inches from your eyeballs.
When you’re done, just flip them back on top of your head.
Might come in handy in a plane situation, or a road-tripping situation, or a late-night, sharing-a-bed situation.
Or any other situation where you’re okay with looking a little bit stupid.