FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 25, 2014
This is a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.
Product: All pancakes that aren’t from Terra Pancake, a new roving pop-up that focuses on a certain fluffy breakfast food.
Hazard: Consumption of subpar pancakes can result in an unsatisfied mood that can last from one to 24 hours.
Incidents/injuries: None reported. Yet.
Remedy: Go to Joystick this Sunday afternoon. Order at the bar and then head to the ’90s-style living room over to the left. That’s where the chef, Saphire Sumpter, is making your pancakes. They’ve got roasted pecans and spiced Chantilly cream on them, sautéed peaches in them and veggie sausage patties on the side of them. (Maybe just check out the menu here.)
Remedy #2: Book her for a pancake party. It’s... a pancake party. She’ll set up her griddle at your house. You and about 20 friends will feast on whatever you’re in the mood for. Simmered blueberries. Brown sugar cinnamon butter. Hickory syrup made with toasted and aged bark.
But mostly pancakes.