Because we were just about to tell you that.
It would look like Mega Hammock, an aptly monikered lounging device that’s both completely unnecessary and completely majestic, available online now.
Let’s play a game, shall we. Four Truths and a Lie sounds about right:
1. It’s 8 by 15 feet, it’s made with type 12 nylon webbing, and it holds up to 1,000 pounds (or approximately six friends, one domesticated animal and a daiquiri machine).
2. You’ll need a big space to hang it in. Like a backyard. Or a room you had built in case anyone ever invented a mega hammock.
3. It comes with a built-in pulled-pork sandwich dispenser.
4. It takes about two weeks for the leisure-forward craftsman behind this thing (he’s an FAA-certified parachute rigger) to make one and deliver it to you.
5. It doesn’t come with a built-in pulled-pork sandwich dispenser.
Hint: that part about the type 12 nylon. Totally true.