You expected: Rosie the robot.
You got: A Roomba®.
You expected: Flying cars.
You got: A TSA Pat-Down®.
You expected: Body-scanning laser tailors.
You got: Well... exactly that. What are you, some kind of oracle or something?
Welcome your body to the future at Alton Lane, a new Oak Street suit maker harnessing the power of 3D scanners to make sure you look damn good, now taking reservations for a Saturday opening.
Despite all the techy-ness going on here, you’ll just feel like you’re in some sort of cool Gold Coast apartment at the showroom. Tufted-leather couches, a wet bar, deer antlers on the wall, mannequins wearing nice garments (okay, those kind of give the game away).
So you’ll make an appointment. You’ll be graciously greeted with a handshake and a scotch. You’ll discuss your needs for outdoor-wedding-appropriate linen, for evening-gala tuxes, for the latest in intimidating windowpane stripes.
Then, you’ll browse fabrics and specify linings before going into a room, taking off 90% of your clothes and standing in front of a very discreet laser that reads 400 of your dimensions in 30 seconds. Four to six weeks later, you’ve got yourself a crisp new suit to look amazing in.
It’s delivered by truck, not drone.