Things to do for September 05, 2013

The Weekender

Penélope Cruz, Jack Nicholson and John Lennon’s Clone

All work and no play makes the weekend a dull boy.

Apparently, Jack Nicholson Is Retiring
THE DEPARTED

Apparently, Jack Nicholson Is Retiring

And now, a hypothetical scene from Jack’s hypothetical retirement:

FADE IN.
Int. Staples Center. Or Kodak Theatre. Or some yacht in Cannes.

Jack Nicholson

[Dons shades. Arches eyebrow. Flashes a devilish grin. And walks off into the sunset.]
FADE OUT.

Penélope Cruz Made a Short Film
CRUZ CONTROL

Penélope Cruz Made a Short Film

The time-stamped highlights from Penélope Cruz’s directorial debut:
0:45: The moment you realize this is some kind of lingerie ad.
1:05: The moment you realize nobody at this party is shy.
2:52: Obligatory lingerie pool party with an outdoor shower and a fake giraffe.
4:00: Hey, it’s Javier Bardem.
4:10: And... apparently, it was all a dream.

Some Guy Is Cloning John Lennon
COME TOGETHER

Some Guy Is Cloning John Lennon

Meet Dr. Michael Zuk. He’s a Canadian dentist. Who bought John Lennon’s molar for $30,000 at an auction a while back. Now, he’s planning to use it to reconstruct the singer’s DNA and clone him. Leave it to a Canadian dentist...

Changing Coffee into Booze
MUG SHOT

Changing Coffee into Booze

So a couple of scientists just figured out how to turn some used Portuguese coffee grounds into an 80-proof spirit. Our suggestion: use this stuff in your Irish coffee. And don’t ask too many questions.

Snoop Lion. Virtual Weed. Weird.
HIGH YIELD

Snoop Lion. Virtual Weed. Weird.

Calvin Broadus Jr. Aka Snoop Dogg. Aka Snoop Lion. Aka... the guy who got a bunch of people to pay a C-note for nothing more than a golden, sparkling cartoon joint via his iPhone app. Which goes to show capitalism is alive and well. And ridiculous.

Elsewhere on the Daddy

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