Well, for starters, you all wake up in the morning.
So... that probably just leaves this new app then.
The one called 91 Rock Clock, an alarm that plays increasingly intense rock songs to not-so-gently coax you out of your deepest slumber, available now for iPhone.
You’ve been doing this whole go-to-sleep-and-wake-up thing for a while now. But you haven’t perfected it yet. No one has. The Brazilians, though... well, they just got pretty damn close. See, they realized it’s pretty difficult to sleep while someone shreds a guitar in your ear. So they created an app that starts with light rock and gets progressively harder if you don’t wake up.
After you download it, a skull icon will pop up (because of course it’s a skull icon). Open it and set the timer just like you would with a normal alarm clock. Then fall asleep and dream of hard candy. Or dancing ocelots. Or whatever it is you’re dreaming of these days.
When it’s time to get up, it’ll start by playing something softish. Like the Cure’s “Lullaby.” If you sleep through it, it’ll progress to something like Violent Femmes. And if none of that works, you’ll then be hit with, say, Slayer or Slipknot.
And if none of that works, apparently you’re more hardcore than Slayer or Slipknot.