Food & Drink

Pig Out

And Now, Five Alternatives to Bacon

Rumors. They’re a helluva thing. Just ask bacon. It’s been the subject of several of them lately... like the one about how there may not be any left next year. Well, good news: those rumors are (probably) false. But in the unlikely event of a porkmergency (sorry), you’ll want to have a few bacon alternatives lined up. Like these...

GONE FISHIN’

If Pigs Could Swim...

The Alternative: Smoked Salmon Bacon—you see, what they did here was... shape some salmon like bacon. But it’s delicious. All double-smoked, maple-cured and orange. That last part’s not delicious; it’s just the color of salmon bacon.
Keywords: Fish out of water, river pig, desperate times

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOAR

The Texas Version of Bacon

The Alternative: Smoked Wild Boar Slab Bacon—this stuff hails from Texas Hill Country, which means it’s hickory-smoked, hormone-free and leaner than standard bacon. Actually, we have no idea if that’s what it means, but still... Texas.
Keywords: Everything’s bigger, J.R. Ewing’s breakfast, Porky’s Revenge!

BEAST OF BACON

Putting the “Elk” Back in... Bacon

The Alternative: Elk Bacon—it’s pretty much just like the real thing. Perfect for BLTs and whatnot. And considering elk is all these guys do (hot elk jerky, elk French rib racks...), this is where you’ll want to test the waters. Or eat the waters. Same thing.
Keywords: Estes Pork, my bacon has antlers on it, beats Oscar Mayer

DUCK, DUCK, BACON

Getting Your Pork Strips from a Lake

The Alternative: Duck Bacon—the process here is pretty simple. They take a Hudson Valley–smoked Moulard duck breast, slice it into thin strips and... that’s pretty much it. All you need to do is cook some and put it in your mouth. See how easy that was.
Keywords: Daffy, when pigs fly, move over, foie gras

SAUSAGE FEST

This Isn’t Bacon, It’s Ostrich Sausage

The Alternative: Smoked Ostrich Sausage—man cannot live on bacon alone. Which is probably why sausage was invented. And it’s also why you’re going to grab a few of these pistachio-laced, lightly spiced ostrich links. That, and it’s just the right thing to do.
Keywords: humanitarian repellent, on Bear Grylls’s grill, bizarre-o Jimmy Dean