Schadenfreude is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.
Spannungsbogen: the self-imposed delay between the desire for a thing and the action of reaching out to get it.
Bierhalle is a beer hall.
Well, anyway, we’ve got a helluva one of those to tell you about...
Raise a stein to Die Koelner Bierhalle, a cavernous new Park Slope beer hall so German, no mere 27-syllable term can fully capture it, opening tomorrow near Barclays Center.
Picture a warehouse-sized lodge where burly, bearded guys who just got done cutting down large swaths of the Black Forest would stomp and sing drinking songs in unison while maidens with heaving décolletage foist pewter steins overflowing with suds upon them (pause for breath). Or, you know, picture you and some friends drinking before a Nets game. Either way.
It’s just... so wooden. Row upon triumphant row of 15-foot hunks of former tree for you to sit in front of while downing comically oversized mugs of brew. They’ve got 30 bottles and 40 draft varieties. Every last one of them has its own special glass and comes from the land of Deutsch. Oh, and did we mention the... no, we didn’t: there’re pretzels and nine types of bratwurst.
Don’t even pretend like you knew there were that many types.