Today, you’re not going to have one.
But your grilling utensils are...
Presenting Stake, a fully fused BBQ tool that intertwines a spatula, a fork and tongs into one glorious grilling accessory, available now.
If Data from The Goonies grew up and got really into tailgating, he’d have invented something like this. A single brushed-steel contraption that combines the flip-ability of a spatula with the grip-ability of tongs with the stab-ability of a fork... with a boxing glove... just kidding... but the fork is retractable, so there’s that.
Let’s suppose you’re staring down the barrel of a potential barbecue disaster—you’ve got a steak that’s approaching medium rare, a brat that’s nearly burned to perfection and a Shiner you refuse to put down. That’s when you’ll bust this thing out, and in one swift move, flip the steak, spear the sausage and take a long, cold sip of your beer (remember to hold for applause).
So it goes without saying that you’ll want to keep this thing on hand for any Sunday from now till ever. Also, it couldn’t hurt to have one ready for the Fourth. Especially if you think there’s a good chance you’ll be tasked with having to simultaneously man the grill, light the fireworks and reenact the Bill Pullman speech from Independence Day this year.