Hard Cell

The Next Big Thing in ’80s Cell Phone Technology

UD - ’80s Cell Phone Case The year: 1987.


A man named Gekko dons his finest terrycloth robe, takes to the beach and begins speaking into a large, boxy device called a “cellular telephone.”

Little did he know, this simple and iconic act of early-morning peacockery was inspiring a nation. Also, Bud Fox.

Behold the ’80s Cell Phone Case, a brick-like homage to the golden age of wireless communication, available now for your collar-popping, Duran Duran-ing pleasure.

Before we go any further, a quick point of clarification: this is ridiculous. But honestly, that’s not important right now. What’s important is that you finally have the means by which to transform your iPhone into a Gekko-ian masterpiece by doing nothing more than slipping it into the base of this thing. We know... finally.

Now, there are a few ways to deploy here. The most obvious of which is to bring it along to your next first date, whip it out during the wine presentation and throw out an arbitrary “Hold on, I have to take this.” (Note: don’t do this.) (Note: totally do this.)

And despite your best efforts, you may even find yourself succumbing to the occasional rogue ’80s party invite. Needless to say, you’ll want to have your newly acquired ear candy on standby as you Roger Rabbit your way through the increasingly competitive world of throwback-y one-upmanship.

Throwback-y one-upmanship never sleeps.

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