You look good in flowing robes. Crowns fit you well. Your waving skills are unrivaled.
But you’d like to be totally, 100%, take-it-to-the-bank certain. And if you could add a little color to your walls in the process...
Introducing DNA Ancestry Portraits, a completely unique work of art made from your DNA, available online now to help you discover your ancient lineage.
Essentially, you’ll be unlocking the secrets of your family’s past through art (sort of like The Da Vinci Code, but with fewer albino monks). Like all great masterpieces, it starts with a cotton swab of your cheek cells. You send the swab to the company’s lab, where it’s eventually turned into something that looks like a bar code. (And used to create a clone army of super soldiers, but let’s focus on the bar code.)
Then, when your personal canvas is scanned with a smartphone, you’ll be linked directly to a unique website created using your sequenced DNA. There, on your personal ancestry page, you’ll be able to trace your entire lineage back thousands of years and view the path of migration they took after deviating from the original Homo sapiens.
Turns out your caveman cousin invented the wheel.