10 Things to Definitely Actually Discuss Before Popping the Question

Sex. Kids. Bucket Lists. Let's Put It All on the Proverbial Table.


So, you've decided to pop the question. 

Or, maybe you're considering deciding to pop the question.

Maybe, further, you're considering the possibility of one day popping the question.

Point is, "forever" is on your mind with this person... which is exciting, sure. But before making moves to spend the rest of your life with the human in question, you should probably make sure you've discussed and agreed upon some important issues that will most definitely influence your future together. You know, things like kids. Sex. Chores. Vacations. In-laws. 

And so below, we've compiled 10 vital questions to address with your partner before proposing.

"Forever" is a long time, after all...

Let's say you go on one blowout vacation a year. Do the two of you have the same travel goals?
Say one of you likes the all-inclusive resort vibe somewhere warm and the other is more into backpacking somewhere with no phone service. Or one of you is into Vegas-style indulgence and the other longs for meditation retreats in the Himalayas. Or one of you wants to explore a completely foreign land where they don't speak the language and the other wants a low-key retreat somewhere driving distance from home. This would all be good to know ahead of time, for obvious reasons.

Whose family will you visit for which holidays?
Will you alternate holidays? Flip a coin? Demand to spend all of them at your family's beach house? (Only one of those is the right answer.) 

Okay, here's a big one. Where are you going to live?
Is proximity to families important? Is one of you willing to compromise if your families live far from one another? If you've both got strong opinions on where to settle down, that may pose a bit of an issue. A bit of a really very serious issue. 

Are they hoping for a huge wedding, a low-key courthouse situation or something in between?
You wouldn't want your first argument to happen just a few days after the engagement, now would you...

Kids or no kids? 
How big is your family going to be? Odds are, you have an idea of your partner's stance on this, but it's best to know if one of you has a concrete vision in mind. And when you inevitably agree on that (we're hopeful), don't be afraid of discussing a timeline. If one of you is shooting to accomplish certain career goals before starting a family and the other has dreams of being a young parent, that may be a deal-breaker.

But, sure, maybe more importantly... dog or no dog?
If one of you grew up with a Golden and won't have it any other way, but the other's more of an exotic reptile person, you'll want to set realistic expectations for one another.

You'll want to talk sex. Will monogamy work for both of you? If not, are you open to other arrangements?
Just talk about sex. Partners, positions, frequency, fetishes, expectations. Put it all out there.

Bucket lists. Are you on board with theirs? Are they on board with yours?
If they won't die happily without retiring to the French countryside and you want to spend every winter in New Zealand, you've got to know.

Is it more important to save or splurge?
There's a time and place for both, obviously. But best know what you both define as the right times and the right places.

Are Sundays for church or bottomless mimosas? 
... Or for church followed by bottomless mimosas?

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