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Overanalyzing Kylie Jenner's Instagram

Drawing Wildly Irresponsible Conclusions About the One of the Most Followed People On Earth, Via Her 'Gram

By Geoff Rynex ·
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Sometimes, in an attempt to sneak a peek into the interior lives of the rich and famous, we’re forced to launch an investigation into the evidence at the public’s disposal. By which we mean, grossly overanalyze whom these people choose to follow on Instagram.

Today, we take a look into the deep follows of one Kylie Jenner, 20-year-old cosmetics and fashion magnate, reality TV-raised megastar, and immovable tabloid fixture. Let's see what Freud, Jung and Rogers have to say about the lass. Just kidding, let's dive headlong down the rabbit hole and bullshit this thing...

@kyliejenner

The Profile
Posts: 5274
Followers: 97.2 million
Following: 162
Credo: "Kylie SnapChat:Kylizzlemynizzl kyliecosmetics.com"

The Bell Curve
The youngest Jenner curates the hell out of her list of follows. Not only is Kylie a brand. Her Instagram itself is a brand. Her ratio of followers to following is 600,000:1, higher even than Selena Gomez, who's the most-followed human on Instagram (Jenner is 8th). Kylie's average follow ranges from Insta-famous to actually famous, is confirmed, and is either a model, makeup artist, sibling, stylist or hip-hop luminary. There's really very little deviation in the 162 souls graced by a Kylie follow. That said...

Outliers

@kyliestaff

This is a private account with 11 followers, following 14. Sources speculate the account is a running joke used and accessed only by people who work for Team Kylie, which is a thing we assume they call themselves. Reading between the lines, she's got at least 10 people working on her social media staff. Such a state of circumstances goes beyond the scope of normal psychological evaluation and requires a new field of study be created. 

@thenewclassic

162 total follows and one is Iggy Azalea. Even a tightly curated brand of a person 

@kirbyjenner 

A man who keeps Photoshopping himself into photos of Kylie's older supermodel sister, Kendall. Facetiously claims to be Kendall's fraternal twin. A one-note joke that's able to remain funny thanks to the structure of the medium. Has 651k followers and is confirmed. Proves Kylie and/or the 10 people on her social staff have a sense of humor/are cultivating the appearance of a sense of humor. 

@sweetboydaniel

Daniel Chetrit. A DJ and possible Bella Hadid love interest. Not overly interesting on the face of him. But the dude only has 469 followers and keeps his account private. Aside from Kylie, his followers include Bella, Kendall Jenner, Virgil Abloh, Kaia Gerber and other people heavily involved in making taste on 2017 Earth. This guy is running the greatest social media scam around right now. Either he truly doesn't give a shit about it, or he's so cunning that he's created a star-studded guest list just for the privilege of following him. Brilliant. 

@kyandtravis

An account that posts photos and updates as to the status of Kylie's relationship with rapper Travis Scott. Fame is a mirror, so perhaps there’s no other way for her to know. This account has 24k followers of its own, and could indicate vanity, paranoia or being smitten.  

Diagnosis
Kylie runs a tight ship and shows a willingness to delegate, both important qualities for someone who's attained such an unimaginable level of fame and runs a burgeoning empire. Her tendency toward extreme exclusivity however keeps her at a distance, making intimacy with new people difficult. Though with a net worth of $50 million at age 20, it behooves Jenner to keep her circle small. In conclusion, get those $$$.

Geoff Rynex is the only person named Geoff Rynex in the history of mankind. He would rather have the best burger than the best steak, likes hearing bartender stories and spends too much money on clothes.

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