In the immortal words of the great Snoop Dogg:
“Ain’t no party like a West Coast party, ‘cuz a West Coast party don’t stop.”
Nobody said it better.
The West Coast exists in a permanent state of summer. Out in Southern California, it’s our full-time lifestyle. Beach parties. Pool parties. Sunshine. Slow, low rides that go boom and smoky barbecues. And you know, making a profession out of just chilling the hell out whenever and wherever possible.
We also preach the virtues of staying cool. And ever since Snoop teamed up with 19 Crimes on its fantastic new Cali Rosé, the rules of rosé are changing. Now every one of us has the ability to enjoy their favorite summertime wine like the Dogg. No stuffiness, no rules, no… legal requirement to even finish this sentence. Since there are no rules. Right?
Like we said, kicked back.
And just to make sure you’re out there living your best life this season from coast to coast, we’ve put together a detailed, seven-point plan to help everyone infuse a little more Cali swagger into their summer soirees.
It’s a detailed exploration of how we’re throwing out the old rules of rosé to make way for a new way of kicking back under the sun, raising an ice-cold glass of Snoop-approved wine to the sky, and appreciating all we have with the people we’re most comfortable with and aren’t trying to impress.
These are the new rules of rosé. And everyone is welcome to come play.
‘Cuz it ain’t no fun if the… you know the rest.
NOT YOUR BASIC ROSÉ
Old Rule: A flute of Basic Girl Rosé in a tiny space meant to resemble some English garden or step-and-repeat with Muffy gingerly poking at her eggs benedict with a tiny fork.
The New Rules: The music’s pumping. The bathing suits are minimal. Everyone’s wins are being toasted to and celebrated equally, as chilled black matte bottles of 19 Crimes Cali Rosé are being passed perpetually by the poolside or beach. To the left, of course.
THE HOSPITALITY GUEST LIST
Old Rule: RSVP in a timely manner and arrive promptly at 4 p.m. so everyone may share their thoughts on the engagement ring. No plus-ones allowed. The bride-to-be’s mother insists.
The New Rules: Show up early. Or get there late. Bring a friend. Or fifteen. There will be no invites. No guest list. No seating charts. Simply follow the smell of the grill, the sound of the beats, the clinks of the cups filled with Cali Rosé, and anything else that happens to be wafting through the air.
THE EDIBLE ACCOMPLICES
Old Rule: Make sure your spoons and knives are aligned in the right position before the soup is served. And don’t you dare try to couple your wine with anything other than a poached fish filet.
The New Rules: It’s never not grilling season in Cali, where the carne asada party remains a rite of passage for every partier worth their creased khakis. Marinate a grip of strip steak, make sure your coals are white-hot, and start churning out tacos, switching your attention between playlist and grill duties. This could be the right time for your “Culinary Gangster” apron. Or not. Just as long as you’re popping a bottle Cali Rosé, you’ll be making a statement.
THE PLAYLIST
Old Rule: “I looooove this song. Hoda introduced me to it on the Today Show. I’m going to use it for the next TikTok dance I steal.”
The New Rules: P-Funk. G-Funk. Funk-Funk. Oldies. Rancheras. Cumbias. Midnight corridos. Nipsey. Pac. Kendrick. And of course, anything by the Doggfather himself.
THE STYLE GAME
Old Rule: Neon shorts with constricting inseams. One-piece bikinis inspired by pop stars. Center hair parts. Dunder-Mifflin t-shirts.
The New Rules: If it feels good, wear it. Anything goes on the West Coast, where eclecticism is a religion. Lampshades on your head, sarongs, tank tops, Daisy Dukes, cowboy boots, flip-flops, caftans, polka-dotted clown suits, waterproof tuxedos… anything works as long as you’re comfortable and being yourself. There are no rules here.
THE POOL PARTY SETUP
Old Rule: The creativity begins and ends with pool floats that resemble diamond rings and swans, metallic balloons that spell things, and stuff made from cauliflower that shouldn’t ever be made out of cauliflower.
The New Rules: Swim-up bars, gummy Great White sharks in grenadine splashed drinks, sunscreen stations, Super Soakers, night swims in pools filled with glow sticks, gargantuan beach balls bigger than Suge Knight, coolers full of towels, and Day-Glo pool noodles. Pool noodles have always been cool to us.
THE PARTY FAVORS
Old Rule: Everyone feel free to take a reusable water bottle with you on the way out. It has the couple’s name on it.
The New Rules: Everyone goes home with a pre-bottled rosé sangria cocktail, which will perfectly highlight the ripe strawberry, raspberry, and floral notes you experience in Cali Rosé.
THE AFTERPARTY MUNCHIES
Old Rule: Holding your achy heads from the sugar rush of the mediocre rosés your friends once coveted as you search for two aspirin and the pizzaman’s number.
The New Rules: Snoop’s “Yardie Yardbird,” a Jamaican-inspired recipe for baked chicken that goes great with Cali Rosé and comes straight out of his cookbook, From Crook to Cook.
Yes, you’re absolutely about to do the whole thing over again.
Here’s hoping you enjoy loosening up your summer jams with a little West Coast style and a perfect pour of 19 Crimes’ Cali Rosé. As always, enjoy responsibly. This is how we Rosé.
