The sun is rising.
The birds are singing.
And your energy levels are still set on snooze.
What you need is a new morning routine that will up your vigor and keep
you motivated throughout the day ahead.
A routine that looks a little bit like this...
7:15 AM: You have places to go, work to pretend you’re doing and dates to date. Sleeping in is not an option. So you’ll use Alarmy, an alarm app that forces you to get up. That’s because it requires you to take a photo of something in your room before you go to bed. In the morning, the alarm whoops and hollers until you recreate that photo again. Or you’ll have to shake it until it stops. Or even solve a math problem. It’s an effectively tortuous way to ensure you’re up and at ‘em.
7:30 AM: This is normally a time when people drink coffee. Correction: The time when they get out the coffee, measure it, put in the water and await a slow, steady percolation process. Not you. You just crack a can of Java Monster and instantly get the premium coffee you need, along with some added vitamins and nutrients those boring old coffee people don’t. No wonder they’re so cranky.
8:00 AM: You’re on your feet and ready to get moving. Now you’ll wash your face and brush your teeth while listening to “Adulting,” a brand-new NPR podcast from former Nightly Show correspondent Jordan Carlos and comedian Michelle Buteau. It’s a hilarious look at the challenges of facing life as a grown-up (be it buying pillows or proper Venmo etiquette) with guests like Jim Gaffigan and Wyatt Cenac. Maybe they’ll even cover relevant subjects today, like face-washing and teeth-brushing.
8:05 AM: If we’re not mistaken, it’s time to eat. More specifically, it’s time to power on your Pancake Bot, a 3-D printer that makes pancakes to resemble anything you wish, from dinosaurs to a giant John Stamos face. Just knowing that there’s someone out there designing pancakes bots should affirm your lust for life.
9:05 AM: You know about the benefits of meditation for your energy levels and mindfulness. But it’s so hard finding time to practice between work, friends and Netflix. So you’ll tap into Buddhify, an app that weaves guided meditation practices into your busy schedule, whether you’re on the go or can find a few minutes to sit and do nothing.
9:25 AM: As Descartes once said, “you smell, therefore you are.” Even if he never said that (but we’re pretty sure he did), that’s no reason not to spray on a little Chinese Tobacco, a mesmerizing fragrance inspired by Apocalypse Now that’s made by the celebrated scent sorcerers at 19-69. You love the smell of Chinese Tobacco in the morning.
9:50 AM: In the 1990’s, you would strap on your Walkman, put in a tape and journey to work. In 2019, you do... exactly the same thing. Only you’ll rock the “It’s Ok” Walkman, which plays tapes and comes with Bluetooth technology. Maybe you’ll wear it into the office, just to drive all those vinyl junkies in HR crazy with jealousy. Sweet, ironic jealousy
