We know. Lately, you’ve been just bursting with free time and energy, and everything is working just like
you want it to. Only... the exact opposite of that. Here, before you, is a collection of holiday-stress
relievers. The greatest gift of them all.
POD PEOPLE
The Slimline Pod
You Require: Somewhere to sweat out the nog you’ve consumed this month. You’ll Receive: An hour in a 160-degree personal sauna/massage pod. It looks part tanning
booth and part personal spacecraft, and feels like being whisked to health on a cloud... of technology.
FACE IT
Caviar Facial
You Require: A supple exfoliator to restore your visage back to its lively pre-holiday
glory. You’ll Receive: Caviar. On your face. (Also your hands and chest.) It’s rich in protein
and antioxidants. Congratulations, you’re blini.
STRING THEORY
Bath and Acoustic Concert Massage
You Require: Full-immersion body babying. With a soundtrack. You’ll Receive: The sounds of live classical guitar and Sufi flute while you’re
massaged and fully immersed in the purifying waters of Aire Ancient Baths. Sorry, the lute quartet was
unavailable.
FEELING PUNCHY
Personal Boxing Lessons
You Require: A way to exorcise all that crowded-shopping-related aggression. You’ll Receive: 10 one-on-one sessions with a boxing trainer from the punching-someone
experts at Gleason’s. This may also help with family holiday mediation for years to come.
SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE
In-Office Sexy Shoeshines
You Require: A sympathetic ear and a clean pair of shoes. You’ll Receive: A team of comely lasses who’ll show up at your office, shine boxes in
hand, to make those wingtips gleam. It beats Joe Pesci.
