The Door Report
The Jane Ballroom

Ever since the Jane Ballroom opened a couple months back, it has shot its way to the top of the scene, and the scene outside has been just as interesting as the one inside. But a spot is only as good as its door—or the professional blocking it. Hence The Door Report, an inside guide to the gatekeepers of New York's most exclusive spots.

The Door: The Jane Ballroom
Name: Lyz
Shift: Tuesday and Thursday
Rejection Rate: 85%

QUICK STATS

Age: 29
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 125
Uniform: I wear the same thing every time: shorts, blazer, boots, crusty T-shirt.
Hometown: Rockaway, NJ
Former Training: Tribeca Grand, Cabanas at the Maritime
Favorite Book: Where the Red Fern Grows and The Brothers Karamazov
Fuel: Iced coffee with Splenda
Door Idols: None provided [note: long "ummm" response given to this question].

THE FACTS

Door Philosophy (the big three): You have to be awesome, cool or really funny.

If You're Not Awesome: If there is someone really weird, I'll be like: yeah, go ahead. There are some really weird, like, ones I just like to let in...

Admitted Weakness: I have a special affinity for cheesy hot New Jersey–type girls, sometimes. Also, grandma and grandpa types that come out.

Effective Girl/Guy Ratio: 3:2

Style Advice: Don't wear your 9-5 outfit, like a banker suit. And no flip-flops. But it's not necessarily how you are dressed that will get you in.

Longest Wait-Time: All night. No one has ever gotten in by waiting. Ever.

Number of Times Same Person Rejected in One Night: 6

Worst Observed Door Strategy: This one guy grabs his black AMEX, shoves it in my face and says: "Look what I have, look at this! What the f*$k does it take to get in here? I direct movies like Bobby."

Most Recent/Pathetic Bribe: $40 dollars and a free dinner at Pastis

Worst Line to Use: "Do you know how much money I'm going to spend in here?" Also, "I direct movies like Bobby."

Even Worse: "I'm friends with Lyz."