A lot of ideas crossed our desks this year. Some were amazing. (You already saw them.) Some were just all right. (We won’t even bother with those.) Others were so mind-bogglingly not amazing, they almost robbed us of our sanity. The following five items, ladies and gentlemen, come from the final category.
Alarm clocks are never fun—unless, of course, your alarm clock is just a vibrator fused to an egg timer. This unholy device promises to gently rouse sleeping ladies with a buzz to the nether regions. Yes, there’s a snooze button.
When you imagine the glorious possibilities of the iPhone, renting out your home bathroom as a public toilet probably didn’t occur to you—but that’s what separates you from the visionaries behind Cloo’. We’re guessing their pitch was: “It’s the Foursquare of having to pee.”
In case funerals weren’t depressing enough, now you can commence your journey into the great beyond in a cardboard box printed to look like a pool table, a box of golf balls or the police box from Doctor Who. Hey, at least you’ll be dead.
Do you ever wish, as you hold your phone, that you were actually holding a severed, zombified hand? If so, we’ve found you the perfect iPhone case. Thus began the creepiest high five in recorded history.
Modern science has tamed disease, conquered the skies and split the atom. And now, it’s turned a dog into a speaker. The Woofer is a handmade speaker jacket that employs your otherwise loyal canine’s chest cavity as an acoustic subwoofer—making it the perfect gift for that cousin who hates her dog.
