“Do you remember when we shaved with blades, running them over our moistened cheeks in an often painful and inefficient fashion?”

“No, I don’t. We did that? That was foolish.”

—You and a friend reminiscing over an outdated, almost comical idea because now you shave with lasers.

The likes of which are in Skarp Razor: a new device that obliterates hair with a beam of light because it’s about time that existed, now available for preorder and shipping in the spring.

We’ll field some fake questions... now.

Hold on. How does this work?
Two Swedish laser-lovers discovered a wavelength that blasts through certain particles of hair, regardless of color, texture or whatever else. Bless them. They then put these wavelengths in razor-shaped wands for you to run over your cheeks: when beam meets hair, the hair just sort of falls off.

Like magic?
More like in the way we just said.

And does the hair come back?
Well, yeah. Think of this as a really, really close shave.

I see. Can I use it in my shower?
It’s waterproof, so go nuts.

And how often must I replace this laser?
It lasts 50,000 hours. So, never?

Yeah, never’s a nice round number.