Listen.

We don’t know how else to say this, but...

There’s this intelligent sex toy with a corresponding coaching app out there.

Just the kind of thing you can’t not address on a Friday.

Make way for Lovely: a wearable toy and app that tracks movements like Fitbit does but, like, for much more personal stuff. It’s pretty early in the fundraising/preorder stage on Indiegogo, and hell, there’s no guarantee it’ll come to fruition—but just thought you’d want to know what’s brewing in the intelligent-toy world.

And if you didn’t, well, now that you’re here...

Great. First, you would download the app (it’ll be available for iPhone and Android). Then there’s the not-exactly-a-bracelet that talks to the app, and that would theoretically come into bed with you. And then. Oh, and then.

It would monitor body movement.
You know: speed. Duration. Other relevant movements. A subsequent report on the app would show your top speeds, your calories burned and other sensational topics to discuss over a snack later.

It would vibrate.
Let’s move on.

It would send personalized feedback.
It would use accrued statistics to suggest new positions you haven’t used yet but might like. It would also send notably specific tips.

Oh, it goes there.