Date night.

You’re cooking.

You’ve got two hours, a spice and a bag of small shrimps.

Now more than ever, you need 1,000 chefs on retainer.

Yep...

Enter TalkToChef, an app that connects you (the normal person) with people who actually know their way around a kitchen (the real chefs). It’s now available for iPhone.

Your home-cooking, date-night-ing plan now goes like this:

1) You call a person worthy of your duck legs. You acquire some duck legs and maybe a nice floral arrangement. You throw the floral arrangement away. Too much.

2) You open the app, press the “Hotline” button and pretend that doesn’t sound like an instruction from 1998.

3) You enter some keywords, thus filtering your chefs by specialty, cooking method, Michelin-recommended—could be as simple as “Italian” or as infuriating as “Health Supportive” + “Low Carb” + “Vegan.”

4) You select a skilled human and have a quick video session with them. Ask about your béarnaise. Ask about your oven temperature. Ask about their stance on Guy Fieri.

5) You say thank you, hang up and shoot them a small donation for their knowledge and calming demeanor.

6) You consider flambéing something for dessert.

Yeah, you flambé now.