No time to waste.

There’s this cooler. Built-in blender and everything. Probably shouldn’t even exist. Does, though.

Just... here: it’s called Coolest, it’s got so many gadgets it looks like something Q would invent for Bond if he were some sort of leisure god instead of Bond, and it’s available for preorder right this very moment.

Now, listen. This thing won’t actually ship until February. You need to know that. But come on. Look at it.

It’s equipped with:

A blender.
A blender. It’s built right there into the top so you can make everyone frozen margaritas on the beach. Which you’ll be drinking while listening to music from the...

Waterproof Bluetooth speaker.
Stream your playlists or put your phone right on the dock. And if your battery starts running low, feel free to plug it into the...

USB charger.
It’s on the opposite side of the cooler as the...

Bottle opener.
Which you’ll use to open beers for whoever’s on burger duty. Who will eventually need you to pass them the...

Plates, knife and cutting board.
They’re embedded into the lid. Oh, and eventually, it’ll get dark. These things happen if you’re doing it right. Good thing there’s also an...

LED light.

...

All we got.