We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.

We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Copyright pending.)

THE CLAIM
That Mamma Mia! Pizza Beer, a preposterous concoction made by a man in Chicago—that hotbed of creative pizzaology—tastes exactly like pizza. The secret ingredient: an infusion process involving, well... pizza.

THE INVESTIGATION
First: we locked our courageous lab technicians in a room yesterday while some type of sporting event was taking place. (Yes, we mean the Puppy Bowl.) Then came the beer. They swirled it around and sniffed it. They swished it in their mouths. They paired it with breadsticks and marinara chasers. There were looks of confusion. Murmurs of uncertainty. Moments of personal reflection. Things got real.

THE VERDICT
Yes, this beer tastes like pizza. Scarily so, in fact. The tomato sauce aftertaste and top notes of mozzarella will haunt your dreams. And by dreams we may also mean nightmares. We’re still not completely sure.