We’ve seen your Super Bowl plans. And they don’t involve procuring a personal robot assistant, inviting some NFL cheerleaders over, renting a marching band or any of these other completely excessive things you could do on February 1. This is the part where we work on that...
Just because they’re not going to the Super Bowl doesn’t mean the Tennessee Titans’ cheerleaders are on vacation. A cheerleader’s gotta eat. So make sure they’re taken care of by inviting them to your game-day festivities. It’s basically your civic duty.
Honestly, how unnecessary would it be to hire an entire marching band to come over to your place and do their thing in your backyard or living room just like they would in a stadium? Don’t answer that.
Getting the real Vince Lombardi Trophy to your party: tricky. But hey, these guys will build you an ice sculpture reproduction. Put it in the middle of your nacho bar. Build a beer barricade around it. Request an ice luge or an ice bar to match. You’ve already gone this far...
Basically, it’s blue cheese. You can make wing dip out of it or whatever. But it’s, like, really good blue cheese. Comes from a herd of pampered dairy cows. Was aged in a solid-basalt cave. Will set you back $200 for a six-pound round. Should make up for last year’s cheese plate.
Meet Budgee. He’s like a butler, only he doesn’t get tired because he’s a robot. He’ll follow you around wherever you go and carry whatever you want. He won’t arrive until March, but 1) we hear the Super Bowl happens every year, 2) yep, perfect March Madness timing, and 3) wing robot.
