You never wanted a desk job.

No, you've been much more content living a rogue life, throwing back Rob Roys, chasing leggy brunettes, tracking down bad guys and crashing their lairs, where they've been plotting to destroy the world through a nefarious scheme involving cold fusion, Russian missile silos and... kittens.

Sorry, we thought you were someone else. But the point still applies—you're not the type to wait around and take someone's call.

Which brings us to Ruby Receptionists, a service that sets you up with your own real-life online secretary to handle all your calls, answering your phone now.

Sure, there are other answering services out there. But this one is like having Moneypenny (or, if you prefer, Joan Holloway) in your pocket. Instead of getting coldly delivered phone messages from your answer robot, you'll get saucy, knowing emails with flirty emoticons from one of about two dozen actual, wonderful women in Portland. You'll keep her updated on your whereabouts (or what you want callers to think your whereabouts are), and she'll relay the info to your many colleagues, would-be business partners and clamoring fans.

So when M is calling to find out why you expensed caviar, a case of bubbly and two pairs of stilettos, you'll have Ruby to explain that you're in a very long and important meeting (presumably with the wearers of said stilettos).

And Ruby just introduced an iPhone app, which lets you get in touch with your secretary by pushing a single button.

Basically, a Bat-Signal for your secretary.