Burn After Reading
How to Avoid Your Own 11am Press Conference...

You've been up to no good. And there's a long trail of text messages out there that prove it.

Say no more. Frankly, we don't want to know more. Whatever it is, we want to advise against it. But if you absolutely must insist, well, there's this app...

Introducing Tiger Text, a sneaky little iPhone app designed to eliminate those pesky incriminating text messages from your life, available now.

First things first: yes, this happens to share a name with a certain golfer who recently dominated the headlines for something other than his day job. And while you would never, ever, ever find yourself in a similar position, you should know that this app could, hypothetically, remove the digital lipstick from someone's virtual collar. Hypothetically.

So if you're worried you might find yourself on the wrong end of a golf club in the middle of the night (again, not that you would), here's what you should do: begin sending your most troublesome texts exclusively through the app. When you do, you can set something called a "lifespan"—which quickly deletes the text from your phone, the recipient's phone and the company's servers. And for the really good stuff—and you should be more careful with those photos of your glorious physique—you can set it to be deleted immediately upon reading.

Which reminds us: this message is set to self-destruct in 3... 2... 1...