The Election Night Distractions You’ll Need
It’s time. You’ve looked at the data. You’ve weighed your options. And you still can’t figure out
where to drink tonight. Here are five places to keep you occupied in between the Ohio and Colorado returns.
While minimizing your consumption of Wolf Blitzer.
Presidential Trivia and Punch Bowls
The Expected: Candidate-inspired specials, guaranteed seating (with reservations),
wall-to-wall CNN. The Unexpected: Lightning rounds of presidential trivia, bowls of one-night-only
Presidential Punch, beer/political swag bags. Potential Pitfalls: The 1-percenter at your table who hogs the punch bowl all night.
ART AND SOUL
An Excuse to Drink Early and Often
The Expected: Big flat-screens in the bar, swing-state-inspired cocktails like Iowa’s
Meat & Potato (house-oaked vodka, candied bacon). The Unexpected: Half off those cocktails with an “I Voted” sticker and deals on bottles
of bubbly all night. Potential Pitfalls: Flying corks when Ohio is called.
The Expected: Anderson Cooper writ large on their 22-foot projection screen. The Unexpected: Teams of partisans breaking away for impromptu sessions of political
trivia, giant Connect Four, corn toss and shuffleboard. Potential Pitfalls: Weaponized corn-toss bags when things go badly for one side or the
Like Watching the Election in Sicily
The Expected: Another deal with a voting sticker, this one gives you any of 15 wines for
five bucks. The Unexpected: Keeping one eye on the TV at the outside bar while you keep another eye on
your next bocce shot. Potential Pitfalls: The urge to move to Europe.
Better Citizenship Through Gelatin
The Expected: Taking in the returns at the bar over brisket and pints of Lone Star. The Unexpected: Red or blue Jell-O shots for a buck all night (your first one is a penny
with an “I Voted” sticker). Potential Pitfalls: Jell-O shots.