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Happy Returns The Election Night Distractions You’ll Need

It’s time. You’ve looked at the data. You’ve weighed your options. And you still can’t figure out where to drink tonight. Here are five places to keep you occupied in between the Ohio and Colorado returns. While minimizing your consumption of Wolf Blitzer.

UD - Presidential Trivia and Punch Bowls
SHAW’S TAVERN

Presidential Trivia and Punch Bowls

The Expected: Candidate-inspired specials, guaranteed seating (with reservations), wall-to-wall CNN.
The Unexpected: Lightning rounds of presidential trivia, bowls of one-night-only Presidential Punch, beer/political swag bags.
Potential Pitfalls: The 1-percenter at your table who hogs the punch bowl all night.

UD - An Excuse to Drink Early and Often
ART AND SOUL

An Excuse to Drink Early and Often

The Expected: Big flat-screens in the bar, swing-state-inspired cocktails like Iowa’s Meat & Potato (house-oaked vodka, candied bacon).
The Unexpected: Half off those cocktails with an “I Voted” sticker and deals on bottles of bubbly all night.
Potential Pitfalls: Flying corks when Ohio is called.

UD - Breaking into Red and Blue Teams
PENN SOCIAL

Breaking into Red and Blue Teams

The Expected: Anderson Cooper writ large on their 22-foot projection screen.
The Unexpected: Teams of partisans breaking away for impromptu sessions of political trivia, giant Connect Four, corn toss and shuffleboard.
Potential Pitfalls: Weaponized corn-toss bags when things go badly for one side or the other.

411:

Trivia 7pm, election watch party 9pm, Penn Social, 801 E St NW, 202-697-4900

UD - Like Watching the Election in Sicily
VINOTECA

Like Watching the Election in Sicily

The Expected: Another deal with a voting sticker, this one gives you any of 15 wines for five bucks.
The Unexpected: Keeping one eye on the TV at the outside bar while you keep another eye on your next bocce shot.
Potential Pitfalls: The urge to move to Europe.

411:

5pm-close, Vinoteca, 1940 11th St NW, 202-332-9463

UD - Better Citizenship Through Gelatin
HILL COUNTRY

Better Citizenship Through Gelatin

The Expected: Taking in the returns at the bar over brisket and pints of Lone Star.
The Unexpected: Red or blue Jell-O shots for a buck all night (your first one is a penny with an “I Voted” sticker).
Potential Pitfalls: Jell-O shots.

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