There are things you can’t live without. Like a heart. And then there are things you just don’t want to live with. Like slingshot underwear. Also, these other things we tried to pretend didn’t exist in 2013.
Looking at a pair of these things, you might imagine two possibilities. 1) It’s a brightly colored slingshot. 2) It’s a French undergarment for men that works the way a slingshot would if you forced it to be underwear. Unfortunately, it’s 2.
You’ve been there. You give someone a box of fine Belgian chocolates, just to hear that they don’t resemble enough of an anus. Well, just wait until you give them this box of anus-shaped chocolates. Then they’ll have nothing to complain about.
Scene: you’re out with friends. Your holiday-appropriate ringtone sounds off. You pull out a life-size fake lobster that doubles as your iPhone case and answer. Hilarity. Until you hang up and you’re just stuck with an enormous lobster-shaped iPhone case.
Sure, a lot happened in 2013. Let’s see, there was that Lone Ranger movie.
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Oh, right. And Cedric the Entertainer released his long-awaited, limited-edition holiday hat collection.
There’s no way you missed either of those things.
If you’ve ever applied a waffle cone filled with rum raisin to your mouth and thought, “There must be a better way,” this motorized cone that spins ice cream is a great fit for your needs. We also hope you manage to find solutions to life’s more immediate problems.
