When you heard a rumor about a secret ping-pong party that involved Susan Sarandon and Fisherman’s Wharf, you vowed to be ready for the next one.

You studied.

You practiced your reverse cosmonaut backhand.

You watched Stepmom.

Now is your time.

Introducing House of Pong, a covert temple of ping-pong where you and your varsity table tennis team can dominate pickup games and gracefully sup beers, taking names now in Fisherman’s Wharf.

Last time you were in Fisherman’s Wharf, you woke up behind the counter at In-N-Out at 6am muttering “Animal Style” over and over. So, yeah, it’s not your usual haunt. But in the name of rogue table tennis, we think you can make an exception.

Politely ask to get on the list, and you’ll receive an invite for a party (keep February 3 open). When the day arrives, know that the door’s unmarked, so head toward the Wax Museum and listen for ping-pong-type sounds. Or look for the McDonald’s, open the door on the left and take the elevator to the third floor.

You can join the round-robins, which are meant to be low-key (the well-stocked bar would be your first clue). But if you want to get a quick warm-up, slip into the Indigo Room and challenge the ping-pong robot to a little back-and-forth.

Just remember: robots fight to the death.