The one that started as a bill in Schoolhouse Rock: great. The one that forbids tying your giraffe to a lamppost in Georgia: charming.
But the laws of physics: those you cannot abide. Not forever.
And that’s why you’re here today...
Put “Rocket Man” on repeat for Zero G, a thing where you get in a plane and gravity stops applying to your body, taking reservations now for a Saturday flight.
You’ve seen the footage of astronauts merrily floating through the cabin of their space vehicle. Or Ron Howard’s thought-provoking film on the subject, Apollo 13. Well, that’s going to be you here.
It’s a little complicated. And it involves modified 727s and high-altitude parabolic nosedives. But basically, you’ll get in a plane that arcs 12 to 15 times. During these arcs, you’ll unbuckle and find that, hey, no gravity. It adds up to about eight minutes of complete weightlessness. You’ll float around. You’ll do somersaults. You’ll... regret eating that egg-and-cheese.
All you need is five grand and the ability to reserve a seat online. When Saturday rolls around, you’ll show up at LaGuardia, have an orientation session, dramatically step into your jumpsuit and get on the plane. Once you hit the proper altitude, you’re free to move... all over.
In your face, Isaac Newton.