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Holy Sh*t, Nicki Minaj On the Cover of Paper

Having a Threesome With Herself

By Geoff Rynex ·
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Image: Instagram (Nicki Minaj), original by Ellen von Unwerth

Three years ago, Paper arranged for Kim Kardashian to “break the internet,” and encouraged her to do so, right there in text, right on the cover, as she popped a bottle of champagne into a majestic arc, the champagne landing without incident into a coup placed, against all the laws of physics and human biology, on her butt. Whether you're for or against this kind of thing, it's an iconic piece of 21st-century pop art. Today, they’ve attempted to top themselves, and Kim, with this.

With its Nicki Minaj cover for the Winter 2017 issue, Paper has dispensed with all the subtlety and prudishness of the Kardashian issue. On it, Minaj, heretofore a bit of a shrinking violet, is shot by legendary provocateur photographer Ellen von Unwerth, having, yes, a ménage, with herself. You see what they did there? Three different wigs, three different Nickis. And once again, the cheeky editors at Paper encouraging Minaj to break the internet, knowing full well that it is them doing the breaking. 

The moral: The only person that can truly satisfy Nicki Minaj is Nicki Minaj. If you find your wifi lagging a little today, or your emails not sending properly, you'll know why. 

Geoff Rynex is the only person named Geoff Rynex in the history of mankind. He would rather have the best burger than the best steak, likes hearing bartender stories and spends too much money on clothes.

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