And your last name isn’t Z.
All is not lost.
You may still acknowledge Avenue Los Angeles, a Manhattan-exported pillar of champagne-logged, model-draped nightlife that’s opening Tuesday in Hollywood.
In a few weeks, the Dream Hollywood’s entire adult Disney World will take over this block, bringing Tao, Beauty & Essex and other party generators to life. For now, it’s this privileged nightspot holding down the street’s eastern end.
After completing three impossible quests appointed to you by a recognized guardian of doors, you’ll enter an enchanting garden patio before dipping right into the glowing, obscure core. That’s where some incredibly talented women will be dancing over the plush banquette your visiting dignitaries had you reserve so you could drink spirits and champagne that don’t come at BevMo prices.
A DJ many people have heard of will be raising the tempo before some trippy projections. At some point, you may visit a bar between a gilded rhinoceros head and a Gregory Siff mural. Just remember to take breathers out on the patio while reflecting on the beauty of life and patios.
As the club fills and swirls into the night, you’ll probably see some familiar faces. Pretty faces. And pretty famous faces.
That one guy from that one thing, for instance.