Gear

The Rejection List

The Things We Left Behind in 2012

The next big thing. Turns out, it’s just sitting there, waiting to be discovered. So we get pitches. We get tips. We get not-so-subtle suggestions as to what we need to tell the world about next. And sometimes... they’re really stupid. Take these, for example:

UD - Beardski Ski Masks

Beardski Ski Masks

As far as faux-facial-hair ski masks are concerned, these are... definitely some of those. Sure, they’ll keep you warm when you’re skiing down a mountain. But in order for that to happen, you have to be wearing one. And frankly, you’re better off taping a cat to your face.

UD - Boobzie

Boobzie

Keeping your beers cold is important business. So important, in fact, that you may even consider putting some boobs on them. You heard us. Boobs. And if the creators of these mammary-y koozies (they’re called Boobzies, unfortunately) had their way, that’s exactly what you’d do. But they don’t, so you’re good.

UD - Original Canned Air

Original Canned Air

The air smells different in Paris. Different still in Singapore. And Prague. And that’s great. It’s great that those places smell different. But it’s still no excuse to “capture” those scents and put them in little cans for recreational sniffing purposes. There’s no excuse for that. Because that’s a horrible idea.

UD - QR Code Condoms

QR Code Condoms

At some point, you may have found yourself in some type of intimate situation. Just spitballing. And if you were thinking about QR codes in the process... well, better luck next time. Also, you’ll love these QR-code-equipped condoms. Scan one and it broadcasts where the magic happened. (Really, condom-makers? Really?)

UD - Sexy Halloween Pads

Sexy Halloween Pads

Let’s see. How do we put this delicately. Oh, that’s right, we don’t. Because there’s really no delicate way to talk about designer Halloween-themed menstrual pads with a bunch of bats and witches and skeletons all over them. Anyway, those exist. Somebody made those. Sorry.

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