Van, Wilder
Centerfolds, Water Beds and PBR in Nob Hill

Consider this a cautionary tale.

You're about to enter a complete, unabashed revival of the 1970s in all of its sideburned glory—rolled into one triumphant time warp of a bar.

It involves water beds.

Say hello to Kozy Kar Bar, a new, no-holds-barred dive, cracking open cans of Schlitz and PBR as early as now.

To find this den of iniquity, look for the glowing sign, spelled out with hundreds of Lite-Brite pegs. Once inside, your first stop will be the vintage-centerfold-topped bar, where you'll toss back a couple High Lifes while basking in the glow of light fixtures made from hubcaps and steering wheels. (In a few weeks' time, the floor will be covered in glossy centerfolds, too.) Look around and take note of the brass pole—not that we want to give anyone any ideas.

Then, park it inside the first of the four booths—you can't miss it, because it's an actual 1983 GMC van (just like the one from The A-Team). It offers easy access to one of two (yes, two) water beds (the other's in front), nestled between you and the booth behind you. All the booths are equipped with a CB, in case you need to ask the blonde in Daisy Dukes for her 20.

Just make sure you do it before the Dixie horn blows—that means it's last call.

2009 missed you.