Royal Flush
Strong Drinks and Taxidermy on Mission

You know to expect the unexpected.

That’s why when we say taxidermy, church pews and a card catalog, you say “artisan cocktails in the Mission.”

You are right on track...

Introducing The Royal Cuckoo, an eclectic cocktail den that’s equal parts bar, music library and hunting lodge, open now in the Mission.

Now, while this dimly lit lair might seem slightly scattered in its presentation of old furniture and deer head, goose and armadillo taxidermy, it’s nothing a couple of stiff martinis can’t help make sense of.

With drink in hand—you’ll have your choice of classics, or riffs on classic cocktails, but we recommend the Moscow Mule made with cachaça instead of vodka, ginger beer and kumquats—head to the back of the long bar, where you can thumb through the card-cataloged collection of hundreds of vinyl records (unless the vintage Hammond organ is the night’s musical entertainment).

The system works sort of like a jukebox where you’ll listen to entire record sides instead of individual songs, so you won’t need to worry about knowing the ins and outs of the Dewey Decimal System. But you’ll have to be open to pre-1975 tunes—anything from James Brown to opera to ’60s psychedelic.

Again, nothing a couple of stiff martinis can’t help make sense of.