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12/10/12

Local Plunder
Your Holiday Party Domination Kit

Bells are ringing. Candles are lighting. Nogs are nogging. Naturally, you’re looking to be resplendent on the holiday party tour. So here is everything you need to see you through the season. You’re a modern-day Clark Griswold.

FOR THE TABLOIDS

The Velvet Tux Jacket

The red velvet tux jacket is one of the absolute necessities of the holiday party circuit. Pros know this. And the rakishness factor on this double-breasted, contrast-lapel velvet number lies somewhere between “Sinatra” and “just unfair.”

411:: Grant Slim-Fit Tuxedo Jacket, $750, Acne Studios, 33 Greene St (near Grand), 212-334-8345

FOR THE HELLO KISS

The Breath Tester

You’ve been around long enough to know you’ll eventually end up under some mistletoe. And when you do, you’re not going to be the one who didn’t confirm the absolute perfection of your breath using advanced Japanese breath-testing technology. You’re not a savage, after all.

411:: Topland Etiquette Checker, $60, AC Gears, 69 E 8th St (between Broadway and Mercer), 212-260-2269

FOR THE GIFT

The Momofuku Christmas Cookie

It’s not like there’s anything wrong, per se, with being the 237th guest to show up with fruitcake. It’s just that these limited-edition cookies from Momofuku Milk Bar exist right now and, well, that’d be a lot better. But by all means, go with fruitcake if you want worse.

411:: Cornflake Peppermint Cookie, through Dec 24, $12/tin, Momofuku Milk Bar Pop-Up at The Union Square Holiday Market, 14th St and Union Square W

FOR THE IMPROMPTU TOAST

The Bubbly Briefcase

This briefcase contains everything you need to turn any cocktail or alcoholic beverage into something a lot... fizzier. Fizzier like champagne. Because you can’t think of a single thing on earth that isn’t improved by putting the word “sparkling” in front of it.

411:: Perlini Carbonated Cocktail System, $200, Whisk, 933 Broadway (between 21st and 22nd), 212-477-8680, and 231 Bedford Ave (at N 4th), Brooklyn, 718-218-7230

FOR THE INEVITABLE SWEATER ONE

The Holiday Sweater

Rest assured, there will be a holiday sweater party. So instead of donning something with two reindeer praying to a Christmas tree in a blizzard in XXXL, you’ll have this clever piece of holiday knitwear. Prepare to explain it a lot.

411:: Noël Crewneck Sweater, $250, Jack Spade, 56 Greene St (between Spring and Broome), 212-625-1820, and 400 Bleecker St (at W 11th), 212-675-4085

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