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Patriot Games

Dressing for America on Election Day

You almost forgot about the election. Probably had other things on your mind. Anyway, at some point tomorrow, the election parties/mass exodus to Canada will begin. People will expect nothing less of you than to be a supernova of American patriotism. Take a walk around town, grab this stuff, all available immediately, and you’ll not disappoint.

KEEPING ABREAST

The Red-Striped, Navy-Blue Jacket

Patriotic bona fides: A ribbon-striped, red, gold and blue sartorial nod to the East Coast prep so many commanders-in-chief have favored.
Perfect for: Probably more of a pro-Romney crowd. Somewhere with scotch lockers.

SCARVES AND STRIPES

The Old Glory Scarf

Patriotic bona fides: It’s the flag of the United States of America, in scarf form.
Perfect for: Anywhere giving off the distinct impression of a place that’s only using the election as an excuse for a party. Also: blocking the crisp winds of an American November morn.

WRAPPED IN THE FLAG

A Flag from the Cleveland Administration

Patriotic bona fides: A late-19th-century wool American flag with just 45 stars.
Perfect for: Maybe using it as a cape or draping it over you, Bill the Butcher–style, would be a little too dramatic. Nah, you’re right, that sounds like the move.

THAT’S THE TICKET

The Campaign Boater

Patriotic bona fides: This is the official hat of political events. Something Woodrow Wilson’s staff would have worn back at headquarters.
Perfect for: Anywhere with a multiscreen electoral college map breakdown over the bar.

AWRISTACRATS

The New York State Cufflinks

Patriotic bona fides: None. This is about New York State pride and showing a little support for the down-ticket races.
Perfect for: When you’ve got a lot riding on the outcome of the race for state legislature.

PARTING WORDS

The Old Bully Pulpit

Patriotic bona fides: A speech-giving apparatus that’s a fake presidential seal away from you being contacted by the Secret Service. And about that speech: here.
Perfect for: The gracious and touching concession speech you’ve prepared to end your valiant write-in effort.