You almost forgot about the election. Probably had other things on your mind. Anyway, at some point
tomorrow, the election parties/mass exodus to Canada will begin. People will expect nothing less of you than
to be a supernova of American patriotism. Take a walk around town, grab this stuff, all available
immediately, and you’ll not disappoint.
Patriotic bona fides: A ribbon-striped, red, gold and blue sartorial nod to the East Coast
prep so many commanders-in-chief have favored. Perfect for: Probably more of a pro-Romney crowd. Somewhere with scotch lockers.
SCARVES AND STRIPES
The Old Glory Scarf
Patriotic bona fides: It’s the flag of the United States of America, in scarf form. Perfect for: Anywhere giving off the distinct impression of a place that’s only using the
election as an excuse for a party. Also: blocking the crisp winds of an American November morn.
WRAPPED IN THE FLAG
A Flag from the Cleveland Administration
Patriotic bona fides: A late-19th-century wool American flag with just 45 stars. Perfect for: Maybe using it as a cape or draping it over you, Bill the Butcher–style,
would be a little too dramatic. Nah, you’re right, that sounds like the move.
THAT’S THE TICKET
The Campaign Boater
Patriotic bona fides: This is the official hat of political events. Something
Woodrow Wilson’s staff would have worn back at headquarters. Perfect for: Anywhere with a multiscreen electoral college map breakdown over the bar.
The New York State Cufflinks
Patriotic bona fides: None. This is about New York State pride and showing a little support
for the down-ticket races. Perfect for: When you’ve got a lot riding on the outcome of the race for state
The Old Bully Pulpit
Patriotic bona fides: A speech-giving apparatus that’s a fake presidential seal away from
you being contacted by the Secret Service. And about that speech: here. Perfect for: The gracious and touching concession speech you’ve prepared to end your
valiant write-in effort.