With the Swine Flu being reported at epidemic levels and vaccines running dry, it's critical that you not panic. And, while we don't consider ourselves officially licensed pharmacists, we are recommending something that may just save your winter. It's called <em>The Flu Menu</em> and it's being served at that mainstay of good health known as Drop Off Service. (Note: also a bar.) Yes, this changes everything…
Active ingredients: Cold-Eeze lozenges, honey
Inactive ingredients: honey-pepper vodka, Benedictine and brandy
Clinical trials: A reserve of honey for Halloween-inflicted throat ailments, and a pepper
bite to make you forget you're swilling Cold-Eeze. This is the medicine and the spoonful-of-sugar in one
glass.
Active ingredients: Airborne, echinacea
Inactive ingredients: garlic-infused honey, ginger-lemon puree, jalapeño-infused
tequila
Clinical trials: While the health benefits of Airborne and echinacea may be disputed by
Western naysayers, our laboratory tests have found a direct correlation between tequila shots and elevated
states of healthfulness.
Active ingredients: organic chicken broth, ramen noodles
Inactive ingredients: jalapeño-infused tequila, cilantro, garlic cloves
Clinical trials: We wouldn't normally recommend combining our soup and spirits, but these
trying times call for critical advances in the cocktail sciences. And if those advances involve ramen and
chicken broth, so be it.
Active ingredient: pomegranate Emergen-C
Inactive ingredients: pomegranate-infused vodka, pomegranate liqueur, lime, pomegranate
seeds
Clinical trials: Its candy color and potent sweetness might set off your Cosmo siren, but
the inhuman levels of vitamin C are integral for your well-being. That and vodka.
Active ingredients: echinacea, Airborne
Inactive ingredients: whiskey, ginger, honey, lemon, ginger rock candy
Clinical trials: The go-to cocktail for sick people in need of booze now has the potential
to fend off actual colds. Or at least it gives you an excuse to eat candy on a stick.
Active ingredient: Ricola cough drops
Inactive ingredients: Benedictine and brandy, soda, Fernet, orange wedge
Clinical trials: Something like an herbal whiskey soda, the Ricola chaser will help remind
you that this is about your health. In trying times like these, we can't ignore the placebo effect.
