Nightlife

Gimme a Break

Where to Call It Quits

You’re not really in a place to commit right now. You can’t be tied down. It’s not them, it’s you. Long story short: it’s 19 days since Valentine’s Day, and you need out. So we’re here to liberate you. These are the places where breakups can go right.

THE ESCAPE HATCH

<em>Queen of the Night</em>

You require: A discreet place to duck away once it’s all over.
You’ll receive: A fantasyland of secret rooms and seductive strangers. One room houses two flexible women whose job it is to force you into their scantily clad love triangle. See, you’re moving on already.

THE QUICK REBOUND

Bodega Negra

You require: Some sustenance to strengthen your resolve and a shoulder to cry on soon thereafter.
You’ll receive: A rowdy house of lamb-barbacoa tacos within a stone’s throw of both Electric Room and PH-D. Plenty of other fish in the sea at those.

THE 3AM OPTION

Empire Biscuit

You require: To get this thing over with regardless of the hour.
You’ll receive: A no-frills biscuit shop that exudes zero romance, has a “Drunk” section on the menu and is never closed. Bonus: great for shedding fluorescent light on romances that started at nearby bars just hours before.

THE QUICK MAKEUP

Margaux at the Marlton Hotel

You require: Somewhere that allows you some flexibility on this important decision. Also: lamb.
You’ll receive: The latest in charming hotel restaurantry—soft, pacifying lights and conveniently located bedrooms should you think twice about all this. Also: lamb.

THE INSTANT RECOVERY

OddFellows Ice Cream Co.

You require: Something to soften the blow for them, stat.
You’ll receive: A mom-and-pop ice cream spot in Williamsburg full of creative scoops put together by a wd~50 vet. Nothing numbs the pain like a pint of Tobacco Leaf Smoked Chili Huckleberry.