Haus Improvement
6,000 Feet of Beer Garden in Brooklyn

Let’s conduct a little experiment.

To begin, find an abandoned office. (Caution: remove all staplers.)

Next, grab some communal tables, a couple of growlers and a soft Bavarian pretzel.

Then, inject the entire sample with a massive quantity of growth hormones.

We can’t be 100% sure, but we think this is how Spritzenhaus, a 6,000-square-foot behemoth of a beer garden, was born—opening next week.

Exaggerated Fact #426: what you’re looking at here is an Austro-German fortress of beer and brats that’s roughly twice the size of Delaware. Or to put it more accurately, a near-endless beer hall with enough space to fit a snaking 100-foot bar, a hundo count of craft brew taps and a wood-burning brick oven—and to potentially tilt the balance of seasonal drinking power (and the earth’s gravitational pull) towards Brooklyn. (So yes, a better choice than Qatar to host the next World Cup.)

Encompassing almost the entire north side of McCarren Park, this massive steampunk-looking space will be your spot for housemade sausages, thin-crust pizzas and the kind of tapped Belgian beer that’s well-suited to washing down both. When the sun’s out: load up an oversized glass at one of four filling stations and take a zinc-top table on the sidewalk. When the weather’s not cooperating: there’re traditional indoor communal tables or, better yet, a fireplace with ledged seating.

Good thing you’ve got a s’mores butler in your entourage.