You’ve already got your 2013 resolutions all lined up. They’re impressive. We’re especially looking
forward to your yeti romance novel. But until that ball drops, you’ve got eight days to do pretty much the
opposite of all of them. Here are your 2012 anti-resolutions...
IN THE SWING OF THINGS
A Swingers Party with Standards
Your resolution: To be a paragon of fidelity. But first: You’ll don an Eyes Wide Shut–esque mask for this roving,
porn-star-attended swingers club. Think more anonymous celebrities exploring their sexuality and less old
dudes and a bowl of keys. Okay, ease up on the thinking now.
A Spiked Energy Cocktail
Your resolution: To switch to decaf. But first: Belly up to a housemade energy drink dreamed up by Eamon Rockey (fresh off his
time at Atera). It’s a mixture of ginseng, ginkgo biloba, grapefruit zest, sparkling cider... Oh, and
booze. For energy.
Celebrating New Year’s by Gambling
Your resolution: To cut down on wagering and games of chance. But first: Extend that heater as long as possible in the city’s only casino. Because
every hour, you’ll have a chance to win a trip to wherever in the world it has just struck midnight. Pro
tip: 9pm is Brazil.
A Ludicrously Extravagant Hotel Suite
Your resolution: To curb unnecessary spending. But first: Maybe just one night in this 1,700-square-foot hotel suite designed by Bentley.
It’s got stitched-leather walls and, well, it looks like a Bentley. You’ll also have the keys to North
America’s first Bentley Mulsanne. Just bring it back with a full tank.
The Twinkie Bagel. Of Course.
Your resolution: To drop a few pounds. But first: This Brooklyn-based sponge-cake bagel will enter your breakfast universe. It’s
topped with a fluffy vanilla cream cheese. Let that sink in... just a little longer... Yes, it’s a Twinkie
bagel. Let us never speak of this again.