You consume fried chicken with waffles with nary a regret. You wantonly frolic in hot tubs located on yachts. You have the musical palate to appreciate both Hall and Oates.
So we don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to have both scantily clad models and football. At the same time...
Let us proudly, then, introduce the Lingerie Football League, America's newest pastime (and the first women's team sport you might voluntarily watch), officially kicking off this Friday night.
Launched five years ago as the gentleman's alternative to the Super Bowl halftime show, the Lingerie Bowl is finally, at long last, turning into an official league, complete with 10 teams (we've got our eye on you, San Diego Seduction) scattered across this great land of ours.
If you're having trouble picturing this momentous scene, we'll just say that the LFL is gracefully carrying on the tradition of '70s roller derby, mixed with the pageantry of the Victoria's Secret runway show and the drama of Rock of Love. Basically, the ladies of the LFL engage in weekly bouts of full-contact, seven-on-seven gridiron football—no field goals, no punts, one linewoman, all action—clad in little more than helmets, shoulder pads and matching undergarments deemed "jerseys."
You'll want to circle Halloween eve on your calendar, because that's when your home team New York Majesty plays its first game against the Philadelphia Passion. Of course, the term "home" is relative, as the would-be pride of Gotham had a little snafu with its Long Island digs, and will be playing all its games on the road this year.
Let's get Bruce Ratner on the phone.