Gym Dandy
A Massive New Fitness Temple in Midtown

Welcome to 2013.

The year you’ll become just a little more Adonis-like.

This’ll probably happen at a gym. One with an outdoor theater, bocce courts, pool tables and—hey, why not—Swedish massages.

Just spitballing...

Oh, look, all that stuff is at Mercedes Club, 80,000 square feet of fitness (and non-fitness) glory, accepting members now in Midtown.

First things first: this is part of a huge new residential building, and it gets its name from the Mercedes dealership downstairs. So if you’re in the market... that’s there. But mostly, your concern is emailing the club about membership. Because once you’ve got that, a world of pristine workout equipment, glistening bodies and all those other things we mentioned before awaits.

Imagine it’s evening. The day is done. You’d like to get in some upper-body work, punch someone (they’ve got Gleason’s boxing trainers), maybe do some “networking” at spin class. You’ll come here.

Now let’s say you don’t leave just then. Let’s say instead you loosen up with a deep-tissue massage and some fireside lounging. Then you hit the media room and take in an indie-movie screening. Strong play.

But now, let’s say it’s summer (it’ll happen). Cabanas, deck-side screenings and putting greens will be happening, and there’ll be an outdoor pool area available for private events.

Your resolution to host a Flag Day cabana party: looking good.