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Well Endowed Game-Changing Holiday Gifts of 2013

They say ’tis better to give than to receive. Which is questionable. (And who says ’tis, anyway?) Still, it’s that time of year when you’re looking to knock everyone out with the kinds of gifts that make other gift-givers feel inadequate. Gifts like these...

UD - Shinola x Filson Bixby Bicycle
FOR THE BIKE-LANE ADVOCATE

Shinola x Filson Bixby Bicycle

There are bikes, and then there are shiny new Detroit-made two-wheeled masterpieces outfitted with two of mankind’s greatest luggage-related works from Filson. This... is the latter. We figure you’ve got at least three days before it’s stolen.

411:

$2,900, available at Shinola, 177 Franklin St (between Hudson and Greenwich), 917-728-3000

UD - Jasper Short by Wes Lang
FOR THE COMMANDO

Jasper Short by Wes Lang

Sleepy Jones: masters in the field of loungewear. And they’ve commissioned these handsome boxers from Wes Lang, the man behind Kanye’s Yeezus tour T-shirts. Where you come in: buying them for someone at SJ’s pop-up on Bowery. You probably guessed that.

411:

$84, available at the Sleepy Jones NYC Pop-Up, 312 Bowery (near Bleecker), 212-260-3821

UD - Stork Club Bakelite Dice Set
FOR THE NATTY GAMBLER

Stork Club Bakelite Dice Set

Gambling is wrong. Immoral. Completely uncouth. But if you’re going to do it, you should probably use these gift dice from the Stork Club, one of the most famous New York nightclubs and restaurants that ever existed. It should make the whole endeavor a little couther.

UD - A Dirty-Photo Subscription Service
FOR THE ART COLLECTOR

A Dirty-Photo Subscription Service

There’s a Brooklyn photographer who’ll hook your giftee up with a subscription of nude shots he takes as part of his art. He will also take requests based on your preferences. We thought it best not to ask too many questions beyond that.

UD - John Hancock’s John Hancock
FOR THE HISTORY BUFF

John Hancock’s John Hancock

Some things are subjective—best food, best city, best... food city. But with regards to who had the greatest signature of all time, there’s no doubt—it’s John Motherf**king Hancock. And here is his actual signature, on a letter confirming his Electoral College appointment. Though he seems to have left “Motherf**king” out this time.

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